October 3, 2009

I work in AP and I just received a priority overnight FedEx package from one of our satellite offices in another state. The office manager there wants me to mail a change of address to one of our vendors.

•

It was my first few months at my new job at a very small company.  My boss was signing me up for my Health Insurance plan and asked, “So, do you get a lot of pap smears or what?”

•

I have a Masters in design from a very reputable school, more than 20 years experience with more than 50 awards to my name. I have created and managed campaigns that have generated tens of millions of dollars in revenue. I have earned every penny of my salary and am well respected in my industry.

My boss regularly introduces me to visitors by saying something like, “This is ___. He makes pretty pictures.”

•
August 20, 2009

I was trained for my job by a man who is exceptionally bright and a leader in the field.  He is moving on to a higher position and wanted to sell me his business, whereby he would receive a third of my earnings on every matter I completed. I said no, and that it was kind of him to offer, but I am not interested nor would I be interested at any time in the future.

He wrote back saying “I’ll take that as a definite maybe.”

•
August 5, 2009
“ Well, as you’re in a long distance relationship, you should probably do an evening course too, to occupy your time.
My boss, during a discussion on training courses I could go on. Actually, he probably should. He is single and has no friends. •
  • Background: I was about to go on an overseas visit to another branch of our organisation. My boss decided to give me a briefing.
  • Boss: When you're over there, when you're visiting the other organisations, you should thank them. And if you get invited to people's houses, remember that you're in someone's home, and you should remember to say thank you to them.
  • Me: [Stunned silence]
  • (Just to clarify, I'm 26, not six.)
•

My boss just walked into my office and said “This is probably not work appropriate, but have you heard of this viral video called Two Girls, One Cup?”

•
July 8, 2009
  • (I was working for a literary agent)
  • Boss: I asked you to print out this whole book, and you didn't! You only gave me up to page 310! What's wrong with you?
  • Me: [checks] No, that's where it ends. It's just quite abrupt.
  • Boss: Oh. Well, it should be longer!
•

The HR director at a company I was working at asked me, “Are you having recreational or procreational sex?”

•
June 29, 2009
  • [Boss and I are working in an open plan office]
  • Boss: Hey! Are you on Facebook? Did you see my most recent update?
  • Me: No, I just logged off.
  • Boss: Well log back on and check it out.
  • Facebook: Boss is admiring ____ (me) from across the room and thinks she has thighs to die for.
  • Me: Uhhh, I think that's sexual harassment, and I'm not very comfortable.
  • Boss: How could that be sexual harassment? I didn't even say anything!
•