Things My Boss Has Said

Boss (whispering in a barley noticable voice): I'm so sick I'm not going to come in today.
Me: What's wrong?
Boss: I don't know, the doctor says I need a liveroscopy.
I think a liveroscopy means that she drank too much that weekend at the indian casino and couldn't come in for two days because her "liver" hurt.

8:00 am: the teleconference starts. Scheduled end time: 9:00 am. 8:58 am: the phone system beeps...

Owner of store that has existed for 16+ years: Did you break the fax machine, I can't get it to work!
Me: That's the copier.

Boss: Let Barry (her boss) know that I'll be in around noon today, I have morning appointments.
Me: It's 2pm ...
She was later let go due to a *whispering* perscription drug problem

Several years ago I worked in Youth Services at a military base in Germany. My female boss was from...