June 29, 2009
  • Background: I live in England and I just came back from Canada attending my grandmother and step-grandfather's unexpected funerals.
  • Boss: Ah, I can tell you were just at home!
  • Me: Oh really? How?
  • Boss: You've got a bit of a spare tire from that home cooking.
  • Me: ....
  • Boss: Oh! But I only say that cause normally you're really fit (hot).
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June 16, 2009
  • Background: I am the only nonwhite person in the office. Theeeeeee onnnnnly onnnnnne.
  • [Boss comes and sits on my desk]
  • Boss: [whispers] I think you'll find that when I'm done hiring this new editorial assistant, you'll be pretty happy to have someone else who looks like you around.
  • Me: blank aghast stare
  • Boss: [grabs my wrists, shakes them back and forth joyfully] Another-brown-person-in-the-office!
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May 30, 2009
  • Me: Sarah Palin said she didn't know Africa was a continent!
  • Boss: Africa is a continent?!
  • This was followed by me trying (in vain) to explain all the different continents to her. However, the North America /South America part confused her too much... she thought that I meant the South American countries were part of the U.S.
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My boss called in today, around noon, and said: I’m working from the beach office today. I really think I’ll get more done this way.

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  • Me: My godmother has passed away, and I am going to need to leave a little early on Thursday in order to make it to the wake. I'll also be a little late getting in on Friday, since the funeral is in the morning.
  • My boss: Well, how close were you to this person? You can't just take off of work every time someone dies.
•

My boss just asked “Do you know how to do snail mail?”


I don’t know if he thinks people my age only know how to communicate through email or just that I’m really stupid.

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April 26, 2009
“ Everywhere I go, people love me!
My boss, during a long, rambling tirade about how she tries to do good whenever she can. •
  • Me: I'm going to need to take two days off. My step-dad just had his third heart attack in two weeks, and I need to go home to be with my mom while they sort through this.
  • My boss: Don't you think you should wait until you know whether he is actually going to die before you take time out of the office?
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April 20, 2009

My ex-boss was the absolute queen of inappropriate banter. We once went to interview a male client who was the largest importer of fresh fruits on the island, the most popular of which being banana’s. The entire interview went without a glitch when towards the end my boss decides to end on a humorous note with, “It’s been great speaking with you, although I must admit that before I came I was hoping to at least get a taste of your banana if not a proper shake!”

Another time we went to interview the CEO (male) of an airline, and again my boss manages to put foot in mouth with the concluding statement, “Well I guess we’ve got all the info we need, however let us now move on to more pressing matters - when can I ride your shaft?”

I’m pretty certain she meant craft as in aircraft.

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April 11, 2009

I am not sure if this qualifies since my boss did not actually speak, but I felt it worth sharing anyway.

We recently had a business lunch at a restaurant near our office for our Board President. The entire office staff, the president and my boss were there. During a conversation with the president, my boss picked up one of the folded paper menus off of the table and used the corner of it to pick something out of her teeth, then proceeded to continue her conversation as if nothing happened, stopping several more times to continue picking. Classy and professional behavior for the Executive Director of an organization.

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